Blog
Updates, practice notes and announcements. Written slowly, published when there is something worth saying.
Relationships · August 31, 2026 · 2 min read
Anxious attachment relationship dynamics: the loop has two engines
Protest behaviour, reassurance debt and conflict velocity — the two-person patterns behind anxious attachment, and the two agreements that change most couples.
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Guide · August 31, 2026 · 5 min read
How to stop texting someone: texting anxiety and the pursue-withdraw loop
You do not need more willpower to stop texting someone — you need somewhere for the next twenty minutes to go. Here is how texting anxiety feeds the pursue-withdraw loop, and the five-step method that breaks it.
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Practice · August 31, 2026 · 4 min read
Anxious attachment in real life: six scenarios and what to do in each
The read receipt, the weekend away, the vague "we need to talk", the party you were not invited to. Six situations that reliably set off anxious attachment, with a concrete script for each.
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Practice · August 30, 2026 · 4 min read
How to use Pause Protocol with your partner to build trust during conflict
A practical, two-person way to use the pause timer, sealed notes and pattern history so conflict becomes information instead of damage.
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Relationships · August 21, 2026 · 2 min read
The pursue-withdraw loop: why the same fight keeps happening
One partner moves closer to feel safe, the other moves back to feel safe. Both are protecting themselves, and the loop tightens. Here is how to step out of your half of it.
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